date: Tuesday, March 01, 2005 @ 10:59 am
title: Book of Grievances: Part IV
Parents..
Who are they anyway?
Are they your
friends or your fiends?
The line is always not clear.
Mine neither.
Daddy never really like me.
He dun really adore me as much as my elder brother.
Dun ask me y?
'Cos from what I heard from his mouth, he believes that I'm a curse to the
family. And where did he base on? My Granddad's mouth.
'From the abundance of your heart, your mouth speaks.'
That's my Dad.
He always bottles up his feeling until the vertical point.
BOOM! He explodes!
This didn't happen quite long ago, rather yesterday thing to me.
During my pre- 'O' level period, I wouldn't say my parents weren't concern about my studies, but they had no choice but to summon me to help them in their
business along Joo Chiat Road.
This rotting
family business was difficult to maintain with older and stubborn workers that sacking them was a just a 'raising hand' matter. But it was my Dad's sympathetic self that prohibited that action to take place. In which, I was temporarily replaced for their idling.
By which, they were still paid for their daily wages and I was 'conscripted' for I'm the youngest son of my siblings. Unfair? Too bad for me.
Though I was reluctance to do so, I couldn't complain. For sure, I will receive a tight slap on my ruddy cheek. Bottling up the bittereness was never my style unless I'm provoked.
One awesome day was utterly interrupted by my sister's SOS sms: 'they are quarreling again!'
Dad had a difficult customer to deal with and that really pissed him off, with the addition of hunger. (Dad eats alot and has to have his brunch and high tea, otherwise..) So he channeled his anger towards mum or me! Mum was the first one to suffer.
I did nothing wrong, except to turn up later than usual
time to assist him in the packing up and closing the daily provision cum professional floor tiling
shop. He blasted me with hard words, and gave me the bloodshot glare. I was badly imitated.
Mummy came into action to defend me, den they got in a quarrel. I was caught
literally in between their crossfire. Hurling all the nasty words, bombaring each other insensitively, I was useless then. I strongly wanted to stop them and ceased their shouting and screaming. But I was stunned. Even though, I was sixteen then. My heart ached more than ever, my spirit was trampled and my soul was wavered.
Fortunte enough, the
phone rang and Sister was on the line. Mum wept badly over the
phone, reciting what Dad had said. And I was by the floor, drained...
Streams of tear flow down, deep down into my heart.
I wanted to curse God badly. I wanted to curse Him for not honoring His promise.
But I was too depressed to do so..
My
family is made up 3 shields and 2 spears. And I'm one of the shields.
I'm the shield that is deployed for the first wave of 'piercing' between my parents.
The shield that absorbs all the physical torment and faces the harsh words.
My sister is the shield that make sure everything is under control.
The boldest shield that cuts into the wave and reduce the tormenting I face.
My brother, the emotional shield, the listener and the comforter.
He listens to Mum's problem and speaks to Dad about the problem.
That's my family then...
